Submission is the very act it takes to profess and confirm Christian faith. The enemy will do whatever it takes to keep us acting like defiant children. Children disobey due to lack of understanding or willful disobedience. As parents we discipline (train) our children to be obedient and yield to our authority. When they do obey us, what do we as parents do?
Just as there is no qualifier for wives to respect their husbands. There is also no qualifier for wives to submit to their husbands. Nowhere does God say, "submit to your husbands unless..." If this command conjures up negative emotions because the definition of the word "submit" is confused, why not reject the One who is making the command? How much easier is it to be defiant than to recognize deception?
The word submit means to yield, to defer to.
In all successful organizations, there is a decision maker. The final decision maker takes on the responsibilities of his decisions. Subordinates who willfully defy the decision maker subject themselves to the consequences of that defiance. Those consequences don't always come from the decision maker himself. If a student defies his teacher, isn't it the principal who delivers the consequences? If your child defies you, steals your car, gets drunk, and crashes the car, do you even have authority over the consequences that child will endure? No, you do not. In some instances you, the parent/decision maker, will also suffer consequences due to your being the responsible party.
I hope you are following the correlation I'm making here.
Being in submission does not mean the individual no longer has to think, quite the contrary. It requires a great amount of conscientious thought and discernment. Many times the contributions of a wife are necessary in order for a husband to make a decision. Similar to a CEO of a company, there are times a man would be a fool to not consider input from the purchasing agent, treasurer, secretary, human resources director etc. of the household. God is very clear about what he thinks of fools too.
A wife's deference to her husband exemplifies great strength and a peaceful disposition. It would be easy for me to fill pages on the benefits that have been derived in our household due to proper vertical alignment. Nothing will convince you, though, until you are ready to correlate the challenges you are facing in life with the defiance within your heart. And, once you come to understand that the blue print for harmony is well laid out before you. You see it everywhere. It's a pattern by which all successful entities operate. And, just as gravity, your denial of it will prove its existence.
F = Gm1m2/r2